Lullaby and Goodnight: The Fundamentals of Sleep

Sleep is Essential to Health

It is a matter of pride to some people that they don’t sleep much.   In a society that places more emphasis on performance than on health, they may consider it unproductive, or “wasted”, time.  The fact is that healthy sleep is an essential, intellectually stimulating, and performance-enhancing activity. 

There are many theories of what the body and mind do during sleep; and why we need to sleep.  Some researchers say that during sleep, the body uses the energy that we would normally use during daytime activities (working, exercising, communicating, even worrying) to restore itself.  This might include cleansing the body of toxins, bolstering the immune system, generating and breaking down proteins, repairing and replacing cells, completing the digestive process, and other activities that are better left to a scientist to explain.  

The brain also needs sleep in order to function optimally.  During sleep, the brain attempts to repair neurons, make sense of our conscious activities, store memories, organize information, solve problems, and make decisions.  There are many reported examples of intellectual creativity that occurred in dreams.  One example is the discovery of the physical structure of DNA after James Watson’s dream of two intertwined snakes and his correct interpretation of his dream image which was, of course, the Double Helix.

Who can sleep?

People who have learned how to sleep can sleep.  When babies are first born, they have no idea how to sleep.  They look around wide-eyed and react to stimuli until they can no longer stay awake.  Then, they drop off to sleep.  It might happen at 3:00 in the afternoon, and it might happen at 2:00 in the morning.  They have to learn to sleep through the night.  If you spend time around parents with babies, at some point you will hear them say, “Oh, how wonderful.  He slept through the night” or “He is sleeping through the night now!!!” 

Good sleep requires patterning which is the acquisition of a pattern of behavior.  You might have to practice a while before it comes easily to you.  Parents who help their children learn to sleep are doing them an enormous favor.

Emma Learns to Sleep

One of my Clients has a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, or unstable moods.  She has always had issues with sleep, especially in her “high” moods when her thoughts begin to race.  To make sure that her 6-year-old daughter, who also shows a predisposition to sensitive moods, does not suffer from insomnia, the family has a bedtime ritual. 

Both my Client and her husband go in to say goodnight to Emma.  They sit and talk about the day; they have prayers; and they read a story that Emma chooses.  Lights and voices are low and comforting.  Problems and conflicts are set aside.  No television or cell phones interrupt this special time.  It is a calm and relaxing moment for everyone.

One evening, after a day that included school, an after-school program with her friends and dinner in a restaurant with her parents, Emma came home over-stimulated and irritable.  She said tearfully, “I want to go to bed.”  I am very happy about that.  Emma has discovered what sleep is for, and she has learned when and how to do it.

How much sleep? 

It varies from person to person; but it should be noted that babies, children and teenagers require much more than most people because they are growing; their developmental activities are intense.  From a personal perspective, my work and exercise may be the reasons that I sleep a lot – usually eight and a half or nine hours.  I have friends who sleep six or seven hours and feel that it is enough.  I am concerned when a Client sleeps only 3 hours, and so I ask questions about issues that could be interfering with sleep.

Sleep as a Symptom of Other Difficulties

People who are having emotional or cognitive difficulties often sleep too much or too little.  If you suspect that your sleep patterns are indicative of emotional issues, it is best to have that verified by a mental health professional. 

There are also sleep disorders like Sleep Apnea (abnormal breathing that can interrupt and inhibit productive sleep) and Narcolepsy (dropping off to sleep at inappropriate times – often due to incomplete sleep cycles during the night).  They should be addressed promptly by a health professional knowledgeable about sleep.

Using Alcohol and Drugs to Sleep

Caroline M. (* not her real name) is a medical doctor who came to therapy because she could not sleep without drinking alcohol.  She knew that alcohol had become too much a part of her ongoing effort to relax.  Wisely, she said to me, “I am controlling alcohol, and so I know that alcohol is actually controlling me.” 

Some Clients believe that a sufficient amount of drugs or alcohol “helps” them sleep.  Sleep research shows that under the influence of some (usually un-prescribed) drugs, the brain rarely reaches the levels of productive sleep that it needs in order to do its nighttime work.   You might be “knocked out” for hours, but you are not really sleeping.  In other words, one can be unconscious and still not sleep.  That is why people who use excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol to sleep often wake up feeling groggy or irritable and stumble through their day.

Sleep aids should be used with caution and preferably under the direction of a medical doctor who is knowledgeable about sleep.  When using an OTC (Over the Counter) product, research it carefully before taking it.

Suggestions for Sleep

Try to have a regular bedtime.  Yes, yes , I know…  sometimes you can’t.  But a lot of the time you can and, besides, it’s a matter of training.  Your brain will “know” that it’s time.

Sleep in a dark, cool room with no TV.  Remember, the Unconscious mind does not sleep.  Sleep is one of its busiest times, and it may not be a good idea to interrupt that vital time or to distract the brain from its restorative activities.

Turn cell phones and social media alerts off.  This will be difficult for teenagers who fear that they will miss some vital piece of information tweeted by a peer.  One night, I forgot to turn my cell phone off and was awakened at 2:51 AM by a text message alert.  Fearing some horrible crisis, I went and got the phone and found this message from a very young Client:  CAN I COME TO YOUR OFFICE TOMORROW?  I wrote back, “It already IS tomorrow.  Go to bed.”

Natural Aids to Sleep

·       Bedtime tea (there are many available in supermarkets).  Yogi Bedtime Tea and Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Extra (in the white box) are two that I like.  If you are taking medication, ask your doctor if it is OK.

·       Melatonin and/or Valerian are herbs that can help.  Again, ask your doctor.

·       CDs that promote sleep and relaxation (available online or in bookstores).

·       Boring books.  Get a translation of Cicero’s Speeches to the Roman Senate.

·       Hypnosis to learn relaxation

·       Breathing exercises (Count backwards from 100 to 1 by 3’s as you descend lower and lower, more and more quietly, into a relaxed state.  You might have to do this several times until you learn to be “cued” by counting down into sleep).

·       Yin (gentle) Yoga or Tai Chi.  Still the mind, and you will quiet the body.   There are also Yoga tapes and DVDs and YouTube videos that promote relaxation. 

Sleep Well

Sleep is important for everyone.  It is a time for growth and healing.  If you take an interest in it and practice it the way you practice your golf swing or the guitar, you may find that your life seems easier and that you become your most creative self.